I have trouble taking breaks.
Which is unfortunate, because my body requires a lot of them.
But because my body is more "high maintenance" than what we're taught to be normal, I wasn't taught to rest when I need it.
I was taught to "push through it," to "suck it up," and that "pain was weakness leaving the body."
(No...it's my HEALTH leaving my body.)
And since I'm a rule follower, at first I found it difficult to throw out the rules of hustle culture that I'd been taught. So instead of just ditching them, I replaced them with NEW rules of work for myself.
- If I have a panic attack, I don't work until my heart rate returns to my normal resting range.
- If I throw up, I don't work for at least 4 hours.
- If my stomach flares in another way, I don't work for at least 2 hours.
- If two of any of the above happen, I'm done for the day.
- If I pass out, I'm also done for the day.
- If I'm having brain fog at a rating of 5/10 or above, I can only do shallow work...no writing.
They might seem tedious, but that's what I need to battle the deeply engrained workaholism and ableism I've been taught.